


remember me? I remember you.

by eddiefuckinkaspbrak



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Adult Eddie Kaspbrak, Adult Richie Tozier, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Memory Lane, Reunions, The forget each other, but not really?, just read it, you'll understand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-10-29 23:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20805062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddiefuckinkaspbrak/pseuds/eddiefuckinkaspbrak
Summary: When Richie is forced to look through his old toys, he comes across one that brings back a memory he had long since forgotten.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [leighwrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leighwrites/gifts).

Richie rolled his eyes as his mother disappeared up the flight of stairs that led to the attic. When he had made the decision to come home for the weekend to visit his parents, he hadn’t expected to be going through all his old toys and comics so his mom could make room in the attic for other things. He had wanted to spend the weekend chilling, maybe going out for dinner and spending some quality time with his parents, but nope, he was spring cleaning instead. 

“Goodness, Richie, you have got so much stuff up here it’s insane! We really should have done all this before you went to college,” Maggie grumbled and Richie had to hold back a snort. After all, he had suggested they have a garage sale with all of the things he wasn’t going to be using after he graduated High School, but his mom just wasn’t ready to part with her only child’s youth. 

He voiced as much, only to receive a grunt from the woman that birthed him and then suddenly a box was thrust downwards, almost hitting Richie square in the face. “A little warning mom!” He laughed, taking the box and sitting it down on the hallway next to his bedroom door. He remained on the bottom step, accepting any boxes from his mom before she emerged once more. 

All in all, there were five full boxes of Richie’s childhood that had been stuffed up into the attic. Some of them were even covered in cobwebs, which caused a shiver to run down Richie’s spine just a little. A wave of sadness passed over him as he looked down at them, his messy handwriting making it clear which box was which. He might be twenty seven now, but looking at his old stuff made him feel fourteen again. 

His mom seemed to sense the hesitation and she gave him a light smack on the arm, “Come on, we need to go through all of this and decide which stuff is worth keeping and what stuff I can donate to the Bangor Hospital Children’s Ward.”

A smile made its way onto Richie’s lips then. Ever since his mother dropped down some of the hours at the factory she was working at, she had been making up time by volunteering at the Children’s Ward in Bangor. He felt a little bad at the possessiveness he felt over some of the toys in the boxes, as he knew that he would never play with them again, but some of those kids at the hospital would. 

“Alright mom, let’s get looking through these boxes!” Richie picked up a few and carried them down the stairs to the living room, where they slowly began opening them and making two separate piles. 

The first few boxes were just a bunch of Richie’s old comics that he had spent most of his middle school and early teenage years reading over and over again. They were so worn from reading that Richie wasn’t sure the hospital would accept them, but his mom didn’t agree, these comics would make some little boy or girl very very happy. 

It wasn’t until they got to the last box that Richie came across something that he actually knew he wouldn’t be able to part with. His throat closed up the moment he set eyes on the toy, and his eyes began to fill with tears. How could Richie have ever forgotten about this? More importantly who gave him it?

Gingerly, he reached his hand into the box and pulled out the luminous orange stress ball. The little smiley face was still present, but it had started to fade somewhat. Richie let out a choked laugh, and suddenly he wasn’t twenty seven anymore, but sixteen. 

_ “I can’t believe you’re moving, tomorrow,” Richie whispered, his fingers picking on a loose strand of his sweater. Eddie Kaspbrak smacked his hand away, giving Richie a glare. He stopped picking almost immediately and looked down at his feet.  _

_ They were sprawled out on Richie’s bed, comics shared between them. The whole day had been spent at the Quarry with the other losers and Stan had even got the extra mile and made a picnic. It was a lovely goodbye party, but now, when it was just Eddie and Richie alone, it was really starting to settle in that this was the last time they’d be able to do this.  _

_ “Do you think I’ll like New York?” Eddie asked after a few moments of silence. It had been a topic of conversation for the losers ever since Eddie told him his mother was moving them to the city. He had never actually outright asked if anyone thought he would like it or not.  _

_ Richie pursed his lips, thinking over what to say to as no upset his best friend...and crush. Yeah, Richie was pretty much gone for Eddie and the fact that he was leaving him was like a punch to the gut. Deep down, he wished he had had the guts to tell him how he felt before, but he didn’t. He would never be able to tell him now, it just wasn’t fair on either of them. _

_ “I think that it’ll become a place that you’ll love just as much as Derry,” Richie finally settled on, biting his lip in the process. _

_ Eddie tilted his head to the side, clearly processing Richie’s words before he nodded, “Maybe, but I know I’ll never find another group of friends that I love as much as I love you guys. We’re losers, and we always will be, right?” _

_ “Right,” Richie nodded, trying his best not to cry. The tears were for tomorrow when Eddie was in a car, driving south to New York with a van full of his belongings. “I’m really going to miss you, Eds.” _

_ “Don’t,” Eddie shook his head, and Richie swore he could see tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to think about how we’ll probably never see each other again and that just...it’s too much for me to think about right now.” As soon as he stopped talking, Eddie jumped off of the bed and started to rummage through his bag.  _

_ Richie tilted his head and frowned, “Eds? What are you doing?” Eddie jumped back up, holding something behind his back, which was only stemming Richie’s curiosity. “Eds?” _

_ “This is really stupid but...I wanted to be able to uh, give you something to remember be by?” Richie tried not to scoff, because there was no way he’d ever forget his Eddie Spaghetti. “So when I was shopping yesterday, I found this.” Eddie pulled his hand from behind his back to reveal a bright orange stress ball with a smiley face on it. “For when you need to let out some of that energy.” _

_ Carefully, Richie accepted the ball and looked at it in complete awe. Eddie had gone out of his way to buy Richie something he knew he’d use every day, so that he wouldn’t forget Eddie. “I love it, Eds. Thank you.” _

_ Eddie flushed a little and tucked some of his hair behind his ear. “I was um, wondering if we could sign our names on there too?” _

_ This time it was Richie's turn to flush red and he slowly nodded his head, pulling out a black sharpie pen from his drawer. He passed the pen to Eddie, who uncapped it and wrote his name in his lovely cursive writing, before passing it to Richie. His hands were shaking, but he managed to write his own name right next to Eddie’s. _

_ He sat the ball on his dresser, so the pen could dry and he turned his head to find Eddie pulling his shoes on. That was when Richie realised that it was almost 10pm and Eddie had to be home. “Eds…” _

_ “I’ll see you, okay?” Eddie breathed and Richie could only nod his head. Eddie moved closer, hugging him as tight as he could before pulling away. “Goodbye, Rich…” _

_ “Bye, Eds.” _

“Richie?” His mother brought him out of his thoughts and Richie soon realised that he was crying. He flipped the ball over and their names were still there, etched in black pen. How the fuck could he have forgotten about Eddie. His Eddie. His first love. 

“Sorry mom, uh…” Richie cleared his throat. “I need to make a phone call.” He had no idea how he was going to find Eddie’s number, but if there was a will, there is a way.

* * * * *

Eddie Kaspbrak stared at the ring in the black box that he had bought over a week ago and he felt nothing but bile fill up in his stomach. His mother had been so insistent that he ask his girlfriend of a year, Myra, to marry him, even though he could think of nothing worse. Still, he went out and bought the ring, but he had still yet to ask her the damn question. 

He didn’t even want to marry Myra, hell, he didn’t even want to be dating her. Eddie had come home from a day of work and Myra had been sitting at his kitchen table with his mother. They were polar opposites, but his mother was so sure she was the woman for him, he didn’t even have a chance to disagree. 

Deep down, he knew what she was doing, after all, he had come out as gay to her about three weeks before Myra was introduced into his life. His mother had been so shocked that her son prefers the company of other men, she literally forced a woman into his life. 

Was it crazy for him to still be hung up over a guy who he had been in love with when he was sixteen? A guy who he hadn’t seen in eleven years and whom was probably married with kids of his own now? The thought did make Eddie laugh a little, as Richie Tozier had never been one to show signs of settling down...ever. 

Still, Eddie never forgot about his best friend from Derry, or any of his friends actually. Especially Richie though, he was always going to have a special place in his heart for Richie. 

“Fuck,” Eddie groaned, tossing the ring box onto his bed and watching as it bounced up and down before landing by his pillow. “I don’t  _ want _ to do this. Damnit, please, something, just give me a sign that I should just pack up my shit and leave!”

Of course, just like Eddie had expected, there was nothing. Not a single sound or movement that could even be understood as a sign he shouldn’t propose to the woman who makes his life miserable. With a sigh, Eddie stood up and put on a nice shirt and pants, pocketing the box in his pocket before he left the apartment to head to the restaurant where he would meet his mother and Myra. He had to do it today, his mother had said, there would be consequences if he didn’t.

When he was just a few metres away from the restaurant, so close that he could make out his mother and Myra’s forms sitting in the booth, Eddie felt his phone ring in his pocket. He froze for a second, wondering whether or not to ignore it and call the person back later, when he changed his mind. He was stalling for time, after all. 

Without looking at the caller ID, Eddie answered the call and pressed his phone to his ear, “Edward Kaspbrak speaking?”

“Eds? Is that really you?” 

The second he heard that all too familiar voice, the voice that he never could forget, Eddie froze in his tracks and jumped into an alleyway, shaking like a leaf. “R-Richie?”

“Holy shit it is you,” Richie breathed on the other line and Eddie felt a lump form in his throat. “Fuck, Eds...it’s been so long.”

A watery laugh bubbled out of Eddie’s lips and he wiped away a few stray tears with the palm of his hand, “Eleven years to be exact,” he whispered. “How- How are you? How did you even get my number?”

Richie chuckled down the phone and Eddie swooned. He had forgotten just how perfect Richie’s laugh was. “Funny story, uh, my mom was making me clean out some of my old toys and I...I found the stress ball you gave me the night before you moved away.” He started, his voice soft. “The second I saw it I...I immediately hated myself because I forgot about you. Kind of, I mean I didn’t  _ forget _ but I...did. I know it doesn’t make any sense but anyway, the second I saw it, I knew I had to find you. To talk to you again. So I googled you.”

“You googled me?” Eddie asked, shaking his head in amusement because of  _ course _ Richie would google him.

“Yes, Eds, I googled you.” Richie spoke as though it was obvious. “And I came across the company you work for. Risk Analyst, Eds? Really? I thought you wanted to be a Doctor?” 

That was right, back in High School Eddie did want to be a doctor. Thanks to the move however and the new adaptation to his new life, he had fallen behind on his grades and didn’t meet the entry requirements. “I- I didn’t get into medical school, so I...yeah. I know the job sucks. I hate my job but a friend of my mother got it for me and I couldn’t really say no.”

There was a silence on the other side of the phone for a few seconds before Richie spoke up again, “Was I interrupting something?” He asked and that was when Eddie remembered his lunch plans. That was also when he remembered the sign he had begged for back at his place. 

“No, no not at all. I wasn’t planning on doing anything.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie meet up after eleven years.

Eddie was shaking with nerves as he stood outside the restaurant where he was meant to be meeting Richie. He was early, as always, so he knew the other man wouldn’t be inside just yet. Eddie supposed that this was a relief, since it gave him some time to gather his thoughts and think about what to say when he and Richie came face to face. When they had come off the phone, Eddie had turned on his heel and walked away from where his mother and Myra were waiting for him, all the way back to his apartment.

Without so much as a second thought, Eddie had placed the ring box on the bed and packed as much stuff into his suitcase as he could. He knew that his mother and Myra wouldn’t hang about waiting for him, and his phone had been buzzing in his pocket non stop. He only had a limited amount of time before they showed up and demanded to know why he had bailed on the plans. 

A part of Eddie was just hoping that Richie would let him crash at his place until he found his feet again. Even though he was aware that Richie’s place was on the other side of the country, in California, and he was just simply visiting his parents for the weekend. Maybe Maggie and Went would put him up for a few days? They always were the nicest parents he had ever met. 

“Eds?” A voice spoke from behind him, a voice that Eddie could never dream of misplacing. He quickly turned around, spotting Richie standing just a few feet away from him, looking just as amazing as he had all those years ago. “Holy shit, it really is you. You really drove all the way up here to see me?”

A laugh bubbled out of Eddie’s lips and he dropped his back on the floor, rushing forward to close the distance between them. Back when they were younger, Richie always was the tall and lanky one, and apparently that hadn’t changed over the years as he still towered over Eddie’s smaller frame. Eddie wrapped his arms tightly around Richie’s neck, burying his head into his neck as he felt tears well up in his eyes. Richie had wrapped his arms firmly around Eddie’s waist, lifting him off the ground just slightly. “Of course I did,” Eddie breathed against the skin. 

Richie didn’t say anything else for a moment, simply breathing in the feeling of holding Eddie once more, after such a long time. Eddie wasn’t complaining, Richie’s hugs were still just as warm and amazing as they had been all those years ago. “I’ve missed you,” Richie breathed eventually, grasping Eddie even closer. 

Eventually, when they felt they were ready, they pulled away from one another and headed into the restaurant. They were still a little early for the reservation, but thankfully the place wasn’t busy and so they were seated quickly. As soon as they were seated, Richie delved into various different stories of what he had been up to over the years and how he was an up and coming comedian with a Netflix show in the works and a tour on the way. Eddie smiled and nodded along with everything he had to say, yet he was more focused on the brightness of Richie’s eyes, and the redness of his lips.

God, did he want to kiss those lips. So badly. 

“Eds? Did I lose you there?” Richie asked and Eddie blinked, bringing his focus back up to Richie’s eyes, where he was smirking at him. “You okay there?”

Slowly, Eddie nodded his head, letting out a soft chuckle and running a hand through his hair, “I’m fine, just uh, going over my spontaneous decisions in my head.” Richie tilted his head to the side as a motion for him to continue. “Uh, well this is kind of a long story but okay, here it goes.” Eddie stopped just for a second, preparing himself. “When you called, I was on my way to a meeting with my mother and my uh, mothers choice of a girlfriend for me. I was meant to propose. Had a ring and everything. Before I even left my place though I- I asked for a sign, a sign for me not to do what was making me so unhappy. Then you called.”

Richie blinked, “I was your sign?”

Eddie nodded his head, “You were. You called and asked to meet up. I mean, how much of a coincidence is that? I ask for a sign, and then my long term best friend calls me up and asks to meet up. I couldn’t have asked for a better, more clear, sign.” He swallowed. Just then, the waitress came over to take their order and the conversation paused for a moment as they ordered their food and drink. 

“Please, continue,” Richie smiled, leaning his chin on his hand, giving Eddie his full, undivided attention. 

“The second we hung up, I went home and packed as much stuff into a bag as I could, before they clocked on and came back to the house. Before I turned my phone off I called my work and took an extended leave because I just- I hate my job. You were right, I do want to become a Doctor and I just- I have a lot of things I need to think about and I can’t do that at home with my mom and Myra breathing down my neck.”

Richie was silent for a few moments before he nodded and broke into a smile, “You know what, Eds? I think you need a vacation. Just some time to relax and really think about what it is that  _ you _ want and not what everyone else around you wants. You understand me?” He asked and Eddie nodded his head.

The truth in Richie’s words hit Eddie hard. He was right, he did need a long relaxing vacation, far away from his mother and the business of New York City. He needed a beach, and the sun and a cocktail in his hand. Maybe, he also needed Richie with him, because Richie was the best person he had ever known and Eddie was still head over heels in love with him.

“That’s a great idea Richie, just one little issue.” Eddie started. “I don’t have any money. My mom has probably frozen all my accounts and I don’t have anywhere to go.” Even though Eddie just told Richie that there was no way he could take a vacation, he was still smiling at him with that shit eating grin of his. “What?”

Richie leaned closer and moved his hand forward, taking Eddie’s in it and brushing his thumb over the skin, “Eds, I know I can be a little oblivious sometimes, but so can you,” he laughed. “I made a big point of that, because I want you to come on vacation with me. To California. Away from all...this. Would you?” He asked, hope in his voice and Eddie nodded his head so fast he was sure he’d get whiplash. 

“Yes! Oh my god, yes!”

Maybe things were starting to turn around for him after all. 

* * * * *

Once they were finished with dinner, Richie offered Eddie to come back with him to his parents house. Of course, Eddie wasn’t going to decline the chance to spend more time with Richie, and it saved him money on a hotel, since he didn’t have a lot of it. 

As soon as they entered the house, Maggie was on top of them, pulling Eddie into a hug and offering up the spare room for as long as he would need it. Richie was quick to explain that it wasn’t needed, as Eddie was travelling back with him to California on Monday. 

“Your mom is just like I remember her,” Eddie smiled as he sat on the edge of Richie’s bed, looking around the room that he remembered from his childhood. Of course, things had changed a lot. There were no more posters on the walls, or comics strewn across the floor. It was a little weird, but they weren’t kids anymore and Richie didn’t even live here anymore. 

Richie laughed, nodding his head as he ran a hand through his hair, “Yeah, she’s still the same as she’s always been. Love her though, she’s pretty amazing.” Eddie noticed that Richie was holding something in his grip, and his interest was captured as he moved closer. “Eds?”

“What’s that?” Eddie asked, pointing to whatever it was in Richie’s hand. The other man looked down at his hand and a blush rose up on his cheeks, which only furthered Eddie’s curiosity. “Come on, show me! What is it?”

With a sigh, Richie shook his head but held out his hand anyway, revealing the stress ball that Eddie had signed before he had moved away. A small gasp left Eddie’s lips and he reached out to take the ball from Richie’s hand, holding it up to his face. The writing was a little faded, but it was still clear that it was his writing on there. “Did you use it? When I left?”

Richie paused and then shook his head, “No I- I didn’t want to lose it, or ruin it. So I kept it and looked at it every night,” he let out a chuckle. “Yeah, I know that it sounds weird, and creepy and just...yeah. But It’s true Eds, you leaving? It hit me really hard. There was so much that I wanted to say that night that I didn’t.”

“Say it now then,” Eddie breathed, moving so he was on his knees on Richie’s bed, facing him. His heart was hammering in his chest as he thought about what Richie might have wanted to say to him that night before he moved. “Please? I’d- I’d really like to know if- if you’re still willing to tell me? If you still feel the same?”

There was a long silence, and Eddie thought that maybe he had stepped too far too soon. He let out a small noise and went to move away, planning on sleeping in the spare room, when a hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling him back. “Eds,” Richie breathed, tugging him a little closer and raising a hand, brushing some of his hair out of Eddie’s face. “I think you know what I’m going to say,” he breathed, voice soft and careful. “It still is so...nerve wracking though…”

Eddie laced their fingers together, squeezing tightly, “Go on,” he whispered. 

“I love you,” Richie spoke softly, yet sincerely. “I’ve always loved you, since we were kids. I might have...lost touch with you for eleven years but, fuck Eddie, I am still as crazy about you as I was back then.” He never once lost eye contact with Eddie, gripping the hand tighter. “Please don’t freak out, I know it’s a lot and I’ll completely understand if you want to sleep in the spare room and not come to California with m-”

Eddie cut Richie’s rambling off by unlacing their fingers and gripping Richie’s face in his hands and pulling them into a very much awaited, and anticipated first kiss. Richie froze up for a moment, but soon relaxed into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist, pulling him into his lap. The kiss was soft and oh, so perfect. To Eddie, Richie’s lips were just as soft as he dreamed they would be. 

They pulled away, meeting each other’s eyes as the realisation of what just happened sunk in and Eddie let out a giggle, resting their foreheads together. He couldn’t believe that they had finally kissed after so many years of just  _ dreaming.  _

“You okay there, Eds?” Richie asked with a cheeky smile, causing Eddie to shove him back a little onto the bed before settling properly on his lap. “A little lovestruck are we?”

“Shut up,” Eddie mumbled, silencing Richie once more with another kiss, keeping it soft and gentle. “Hey, Rich?” He breathed against his lips. 

Richie tilted his head to the side, humming back, not wanting to pull away. “Hm? What is it?”

“I love you too."


End file.
